Dear Jesus,

Yesterday was a great day! Nothing out of the ordinary, just a great day. But last night I was walking up the stairs to crawl into bed and I was in deep thinking mode. (which is always.) :) Branden was snoring away..shh he doesn't know. And so I grabbed my Bible, Journal and my phone with my commentary. I began reading 1 Thessalonians, I read it  and re-read it. With my Bible open on my lap I just laid there and continued thinking, processing, over-analyzing and such. 

Then these thoughts just started coming....so I wrote a letter in my journal.  (click picture to enlarge)

This could be dangerous...

1 Timothy 6:11-13 (New International Version)

Paul's Charge to Timothy

... ¹¹But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. ¹²Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. ¹³In the sight of God, who gives life to everything, and of Christ Jesus, who while testifying before Pontius Pilate made the good confession, I charge you..

Psalm 126:5-6 (New International Version)

⁵ Those who sow in tears
will reap with songs of joy.

⁶ He who goes out weeping,
carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy,
carrying sheaves with him.

I've been wanting to blog for weeks but there has been something stopping me. Anytime I get in the blogging mood I talk myself out of it. I convince myself this could be dangerous...don't go there. And so I've continued to procrastinate and put it off for several reason. And heck, maybe by the end of this I may delete it and no one will see it :)
Very rarely do I hit a...um...well let's say, a funk--A time of deep discouragement, a dark cloud, and many questions. I am in a very different "season" of life. One I've struggled with because I've never walked through it and so I begin to question why.
It's been several months of wresting, fighting, tears, ups and downs. And where am I right now? Walking. A very slow walk, but I am walking out of pure obedience. Where am I headed? Towards Jesus. Period. And I think I still have some big detours to work through...but I am starting to get back in the right direction. Over the past several weeks God has revealed to me what has been going on--and it was with many tears of joy and overwhelming thankfulness I accepted his truth. But just because I know why,doesn't mean a light switch is flipped and life was giddy and perfect.
Why do I share this? Because I live a transparent life and want to share how God is moving in my life. If it encourages one person, praise God.

I believe it all began last summer. A life-changing trip to Africa. (you can read about it HERE )Serving others, sharing the Gospel, and being apart of advancing the Kingdom. One week after I returned we left for summer camp, where God moved in some powerful ways and I saw students come to know Jesus Christ as their Savior for the first time. I had the opportunity to baptize some of them and built some very special relationships. I was on a God "high" Life was perfect. God was moving, I was seeing God move in powerful ways, and I was connected to God in a new way. My eyes and heart were glazed over, all because of how mighty God was working in people's lives.
Summer quickly ended, I quit my job at Starbucks, began my photography business, and jumped right into the chaotic youth church schedule :) Church...church...meetings, youth, etc. On top of being a youth leader on Wed. nights I was discipling 5 girls one-on-one. Life was grand. I was living the dream...doing what I loved and investing in young girls lives.
Then I believe the enemy had his eye on me and I wasn't prepared. Not one bit. A big target was on my back and I didn't know it. And so I continued moving through life at a pretty insane schedule. And then slowly things started to unravel. And looking at them individually, they aren't horrible but they began weighing me down bit by bit.
I did not study the enemy or his tactics, thus my painful journey.

1 Peter 5: 8Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
Jame 4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

It would take me hours to document all the ways Satan got me....but he did.
There is the reality. I fell prey to the enemy.
I will share just one part that I was so challenged on in my life. I allowed Satan (the Father of Lies) to tell my many lies, and I believed them. I traded in truth for lies...many, many lies. It breaks my heart to write this, but my faith was challenged. For the first time in my life. Yes. The first. And because I've never walked in this, it scared me. Scared me so badly, that it crippled me. And I became ineffective. Ineffective for the kingdom.
Yes, Satan tried, but I am not down for the count.
God is bringing my back, slowly but surely.

Sometimes I sit back and think how dumb am I? I've read it a hundred times in scripture.
Satan doesn't like effective believers.
Hello, Katie Campbell? :) What happened?
Friends, it started with one thing. And I didn't ....." take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. " 2 Cor. 10:5
I urge you, from a healing soul to another--study the tactics of your enemy, know scripture--I mean bury it in your soul, and slow down to do this. I let a non-stop schedule get the best of me, took for granted scripture, and didn't look at the warnings of the enemy. Ephesians 6:12 ^"12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

When I awake in the morning I have one thought...we are in war...I urge you to wake up and see the battle.
I love you brothers and sisters in Christ.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

¹⁶Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

2 Timothy 4:6-8 (New International Version)

⁶For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. ⁷I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. ⁸Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.

A sermon that I love on this is Mark Driscoll.....check it out here.
http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/luke/jesus-casts-out-demons

Who are you

I am in constant restlessness. My heart has been challenged. And when I become convicted/passionate for what God is doing there is no stopping me. I go for it. And this is where I have landed.
The desperate need for encouragement.
Several months back I was so overwhelmed with the darkness. The evil. The mean words people speak. The negativity. The hurt and backstabbing.
Let's face it this world is harsh to live in at times.
My life is no exempt. Words people speak pierce my soul and crush me. There is no way around it.
Words are powerful.

So why are we so quick to speak negativity and slow to speak encouragement? When all of us are in desperate need of loving words?

I believe a lot of us think in our heads encouraging things to say to people, yet we end up never conveying that to people.
We are either discouraging or encouraging people on a day to day basis.
There is no middle ground.
You either do or your don't.

Look at this definition
To encourage

a : to inspire with courage, spirit, or hope

b : to attempt to persuade : urge
2 : to spur on

To Discourage

1.to deprive of courage, hope, or confidence; dishearten; dispirit.

2.to dissuade

The first part of discourage says to deprive, which means to remove or withhold something from the enjoyment.

In our words and actions we are either encouraging and spurring someone on OR we are discouraging them by withholding our words.

This is why I believe God speaks so clearly about living lives of encouragement. In

Hebrews 10:24-25 (New Living Translation)

²⁴ Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. ²⁵ And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.

1 Thessalonians 5:10-12 (New Living Translation)

¹⁰ Christ died for us so that, whether we are dead or alive when he returns, we can live with him forever. ¹¹ So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.

whether in words or action I want to be known as an encourager. To inspire others to go for their dreams. To build others up in the amazing talents God has given them. To listen to others and spur them on in their challenges they face. To fill their hearts with hope and truth.

I want to let my conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt (col 4:6)

I still have along ways to go but it's a process. We're all on a journey. One day, one moment, one conversation at a time.

My challenge is how can you be an encourager today?

Write a note, a FB message, a tweet.

Do something!

It's time to stop being shy and withholding encouragement. We need it. All of us.

Let's be bold!

Let's love others. Be full of encouragement. Spur one another on.

Until we meet in Heaven...

Shouting from the mountain tops!

I feel inspired to write a short blog today. I've been absent the past couple months and possibly because life has been a whirlwind and consisted of the usual youth pastor lifestyle....non-stop retreats, company, events, and trips! :)
But today I wanted to reflect.
I was at the gym today and I was meditating on God's goodness. And then it became a huge adrenaline rush! ( I am thinking this is my new secret to running :)
I was reflecting on one of the most impactful and inspiring weeks in youth ministry.
A week where I look back and think you can't deny the work and presence of Jesus Christ.
He who redeems, heals, restores, comforts.
And I can't help but worship and praise Him for what He has and IS doing!
Truly, this week has been a "high"..."I'm on mountain-top" kinda week.
But I don't think I'm just praising Jesus for what he has done this week.
In my meditation and prayer at the gym, praise flooded my soul.
I am praising God for taking me on a journey
Just back in February I felt life was difficult road and full of heavy emotions. We were told my Dad probably had cancer, my dog had to be put down, and life was just plain crazy.
And a few months later...
My Dad is healthy and healed, my soul is at peace, and God is moving in lives that are undeniably the work of the Holy Spirit.
I am praising Jesus not for last week, but also for the joy and comfort in the dark times.
Which truly leads to a sweeter, richer joy in these high moments of life!
Today I just wanted to climb to the highest mountain in Portland and shout, "Praise God!!"
I wanted to share with the world that Jesus is ALIVE and working!
I SEE IT!
It isn't an old Bible story, a myth, or legend.
It's true.
You cannot deny stories of redemption and restoration.
I'm telling you, to sit and listen to a precious high school student share their story of how only Jesus Christ has freed them from an eating disorder with another student, moves your soul.
It has moved my soul to rejoicing, praising, and worshiping!
And so I guess this is my "shout-out" :)
I'm in awe of Jesus. I love Him.
My life is nothing without Him.
And today my soul is filled with praise and adoration for what he has and is doing.
Thank you Jesus,
All the glory to you...
I'm nothing without you.

I wanted to share some lyrics that sum up my heart right now :)
Hillsong United
You hold me now
VERSE 1:
On that day when I see
All that You have for me
When I see You face to face
There surrounded by Your grace
All my fears swept away
In the light of Your embrace
Where Your love is all I need
And forever I am free

PRE CHORUS 1:
Where the streets are made of gold
In Your presence healed and whole
Let the songs of heaven
Rise to You alone

CHORUS:
No weeping no hurt or pain
No suffering You hold me now
You hold me now
No darkness no sick or lame
No hiding You hold me now
You hold me now

VERSE 2:
In this life I will stand
Through my joy and my pain
Knowing there's a greater day
There's a hope that never fails
Where Your Name is lifted high
And forever praises rise
For the glory of Your Name
I'm believing for the day

PRE CHORUS 2:
Where the wars and violence cease
All creation lives in peace
Let the songs of heaven
Rise to You alone

BRIDGE:
For eternity
All my heart will give
All the glory to Your Name

Redemption

I've been listening to some new music by Charlie Hall and I came across this song Hookers and Robbers. I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT! :)

The lyrics are reality. I've been moved by this song because it's life, it's us, it's redemption! Jesus Christ is the one and only who accepts us as we are. Who calls us, beckons us, draws us near to him. I believe with all my heart our creator is madly in love with each and everyone of us.

I won't expand anymore other than this song has touched me and my prayer is that it speaks to you. Our Jesus longs, aches, and desires all of us...just as we are.

Hookers and Robbers
By Charlie Hall

Crack kids, track kids, hookers and robbers
The naked and hungry, mothers and fathers
Abuses, excuses, and guns in your hands
And I even welcome the arrogant man
I welcome you all to the biggest of feasts
A night of no shame
To pause and to breathe
This is a night of love's renovation
A feast I am sure that could change a whole nation

Me, I am not such an excellent host
I am one who forgives but needs it the most
I found the liar, the killer of hearts
And I ran away with a new way to start
I journeyed a road where a bright man appeared
He looked into me, and my eyes filled with tears
My breath fast and short and my heart burning deep
He gave me new eyes and a new way to see

So come as you are, as you are, as you are
So come as you are, as you are, as you are

I still defiled his great love ways
I felt such a famine when I ran away
I missed the presence, the voice like a song
I was nasty and dirty, I knew I was wrong
But he ran to me like a dream like a father
This love is not earthly this love must be other
He carried me home and threw me a party
A party so loud like the greatest love story
Oh my dear friend applaud now please
I've invited you heart to announce you are free
He takes your chains, busting you out of prison
Just open your heart, let your heart come and listen

Come as you are, as you are, as you are
Come as you are, as you are, as you are

Who could accept all your pounding and screaming
Your raging, your freaking, cussing, and beating
All while He holds you and always forgiving
This is the story of love and of living
Wipe off your tears and laugh just a little
Come break this bread, celebrate the Forgiver
Raise up a glass, a time to remember
Come break this bread, celebrate the Forgiver

Come as you are, as you are, as you are
Come as you are, as you are, as you are

Life is lived beyond these walls

The past few weeks have been an array of emotions, events, encounters, and holiday festivities!
Many of you may not know but Branden and I were supposed to close on our home right before Christmas. As we were becoming anxious to get in we got some bad news a few days before we were to close. The home would probably not close before Christmas. From that point our lives erupted into a big emotional roller coaster. I should have known God was going to test me in this because that previous week the verse that I was studying with one my high school girls was Matthew 6: ³⁴Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
And truly, I clung to that verse. Especially because I tend to worry...a l o t! I would be saying that verse at all hours of the day. While packing, cleaning, scrubbing the floors, you name it I was speaking it!

Here is a recap of our chaos of a week :) Here is where I was learning to trust in the Lord with all my heart! :)

Friday 18th- get word probably won't close. Go to apartment and get extension to stay. Call parents and let them know they can't come down for Christmas. Decide to fly to Spokane. Buy plane tickets that evening

Saturday- Go to apartment manager to verify some information. They then informed us they made a mistake and we have to be out by Sunday! ( in less than 24 hours!) Call Branden and freak out :) Call parents and cancel plane ticket to Spokane. Cried all day :) Begin a mad scramble to find a place to live with 3 animals! And start packing like crazy!!!

Sunday- Pack all day and found a new "home" and move in with our good friends the Hunt's! (can't thank them enough!!)

Monday- Sign papers on the house

Tuesday-Find out we had keys!! and begin forming a team to move in!

Tuesday pm- We are in!! and my parents surprised us and showed up.

In the midst of the chaos Branden had a few big papers due for school, was in the middle of hiring a Girls Director for the High School ministries, and we had some situations we were dealing with. Life was overwhelming!!

So here I sit a week later enjoying painting my home, making it cozy, and putting my personal touches on it! Life seems so much calmer. As I have been shopping, painting, and cleaning my mind is drawn to one thing. Life is lived beyond these walls. My heart is stirred to keep living eternally. To challenge myself to look beyond this house...physically and spiritually. The house I call Earth and the house I call Home.

I was watching a story on TV last night and it reminded me of all the hurt, pain, brokenness, and emptiness that fills the souls of people we see everyday.
My life isn't exempt either. The difference is I have a peace and joy in the middle of this crazy life! I couldn't do it without my Savior who I love passionately! I can't tell you how many phone calls and emails I've received in the past several weeks of people who are in tough situations. It has made my heart ache, groan and long for Heaven-but for now... more of Jesus!! From death, to addictions, to suicide there is a lot going on in our world. right. now. Do you see it?
I'm seeing it more and more. Everyday I choose to look beyond me and look out I am overwhelmed.

Last week I was sure this was a bad place to be in. I was a mess. crying and discouraged. There was just so much out there that I couldn't deal with it. I was filled with a heavy heart because of all the brokenness. I called a good friend and she prayed with me, spoke truth into my life, and heard my heart. And today, today I see this is right were I need to be:
Aware. Alive. Available. My eyes are opening. I see the sin tearing down lives physically, spiritually, mentally. The sin that so easily entangles us-
¹Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

And because I see, I need. I need Jesus that much more. I need his grace that much more. I need every ounce of Jesus if I'm going to make it! I long to be in heaven! No more sin. no more cancer. no more death. no more tears. no pain. no brokenness. no divorce. no hate.

and the astonishing part is I don't deserve one ounce of his grace. It brings me to tears. I'm humbled. I'm overwhelmed by love.

How can I not follow him? How can I not praise and worship this King? How can I not give my life up? The prize far outweighs these troubles on earth. I'm holding out with perseverance.

God, let your kingdom come....

¹⁸ Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later. ¹⁹ For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are. ²⁰ Against its will, all creation was subjected to God’s curse. But with eager hope, ²¹ the creation looks forward to the day when it will join God’s children in glorious freedom from death and decay. ²² For we know that all creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. ²³ And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children,^j]">[j] including the new bodies he has promised us. ²⁴ We were given this hope when we were saved. (If we already have something, we don’t need to hope^k]">[k] for it. ²⁵ But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently.)

From Sunday to Sunday: Sharpies to Heaven

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

¹⁶ That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are^a]">[a] being renewed every day. ¹⁷ For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! ¹⁸ So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.

2 Corinthians 1:3-5

³Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, ⁴who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. ⁵For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.

I am writing today out of reflection, a heavy heart, and new perspective. Oh how life flips upside down from one Sunday to the next! This afternoon I received a phone call from a friend to let me know her mom had passed. This was not something she was prepared for or even thought would ever be reality this week. As I was crying with her and trying my best to comfort her I was at a loss for words. All that came to mind was offer my prayers and time. But nothing seemed to do justice. I felt hopeless and useless at the moment.
As I was driving home and reflecting on her journey I felt like things in my life were coming back into perspective. I couldn't imagine my life being flipped upside down in less than a week. I remembered last Sunday. Last Sunday during Church I was getting texts and phone calls about how her dryer was ruined because she put a sharpie through!
I laughed at her. teased her. I even offered advice.
Last Sunday this was the crisis of the week!
And now this Sunday her world has been shattered. Sharpie marks in the dryer are miniscual today. The sharpie crisis doesn't even matter because today her life changed.
And today, my life has been changed. I was recalling my "sharpie moments" of the week---and I have plenty! :) I always know in my head that I shouldn't focus on the small things of life but to focus on people. But today that head knowledge became reality to change some areas of my life.
Today my perspective is being renewed. What really matters today?
People. Eternity. Love.
As I mourn with my friend, I am learning from this moment. To re-evaluate life once again. To come back to the basics. To love Jesus more and more. To love others with reckless abandon. And to express my love to others openly.
I hold on to this. Life does end on here. Oh how I look forward to Heaven.
Eternity with no death. no pain. no tears.
Eternity with our sweet Jesus.

Thank Jesus, For because of you, and you alone I live.
Thank you for being our comfort, peace, and joy amidst tragedy.


Even with a sad heart I rejoice in Jesus. Because of Him I have hope.

Psalm 23:4
⁴ Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, ^a]">[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.