::Misunderstood::

The exterior looks solid. The foundation is firm on Christ. Yet a heart is conflicted. Wrestling along a journey with many pit stops. The destination has yet to be determined. Alone, in the depths of a heart, weaving through the joys and sorrows. Crying out to the only one who knows. Who truly understands. Who extends grace, mercy, and love. Who is always holding his arms open wide.

If I could say I would. But I can't. Will you still accept me? Will you love me just as I am?

Can compassion flow from your heart without knowing the details. Without speculations and judgement?

Can you extend grace at a time of need. Without limitations?

Can you help carry a burden with your neighbor?

No pity allowed. Nor do I accept it. It isn't about the destination, it's about Jesus. More of him. All the time. I don't need sorrow, I need your strength pushing me into Jesus. Just closer into his arms.
I don't need a solution, an answer, a fix.

I need Jesus.

In Him I am complete.

Is your heart breaking?

James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

 This morning I came across this picture. And it stopped me cold. I burst into tears as my heart sank. 

He isn't a random child crying. He has a name and a story.

"Misthaki Pierre cries after the burial of his mother, who died of cholera October 29, 2010 in Haiti. Her death has left Misthaki without a mother or father. (Spencer Platt/Getty Images)"

 

It's all about Jesus, all the time.

In the morning, when I rise

In the morning, when I rise

In the morning, when I rise

Give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus,

Give me Jesus.

You can have all this world,

Just give me Jesus.

When I am alone,

When I am alone,

When I am alone,

Give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus,

Give me Jesus.

You can have all this world,

Just give me Jesus.

When I come to die,

When I come to die,

When I come to die,

Give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus,

Give me Jesus.

You can have all this world,

Just give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus,

Give me Jesus.

You can have all this world,

You can have all this world,

You can have all this world,

Just give me Jesus.

Dear Jesus,

Yesterday was a great day! Nothing out of the ordinary, just a great day. But last night I was walking up the stairs to crawl into bed and I was in deep thinking mode. (which is always.) :) Branden was snoring away..shh he doesn't know. And so I grabbed my Bible, Journal and my phone with my commentary. I began reading 1 Thessalonians, I read it  and re-read it. With my Bible open on my lap I just laid there and continued thinking, processing, over-analyzing and such. 

Then these thoughts just started coming....so I wrote a letter in my journal.  (click picture to enlarge)

This could be dangerous...

1 Timothy 6:11-13 (New International Version)

Paul's Charge to Timothy

... ¹¹But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. ¹²Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. ¹³In the sight of God, who gives life to everything, and of Christ Jesus, who while testifying before Pontius Pilate made the good confession, I charge you..

Psalm 126:5-6 (New International Version)

⁵ Those who sow in tears
will reap with songs of joy.

⁶ He who goes out weeping,
carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy,
carrying sheaves with him.

I've been wanting to blog for weeks but there has been something stopping me. Anytime I get in the blogging mood I talk myself out of it. I convince myself this could be dangerous...don't go there. And so I've continued to procrastinate and put it off for several reason. And heck, maybe by the end of this I may delete it and no one will see it :)
Very rarely do I hit a...um...well let's say, a funk--A time of deep discouragement, a dark cloud, and many questions. I am in a very different "season" of life. One I've struggled with because I've never walked through it and so I begin to question why.
It's been several months of wresting, fighting, tears, ups and downs. And where am I right now? Walking. A very slow walk, but I am walking out of pure obedience. Where am I headed? Towards Jesus. Period. And I think I still have some big detours to work through...but I am starting to get back in the right direction. Over the past several weeks God has revealed to me what has been going on--and it was with many tears of joy and overwhelming thankfulness I accepted his truth. But just because I know why,doesn't mean a light switch is flipped and life was giddy and perfect.
Why do I share this? Because I live a transparent life and want to share how God is moving in my life. If it encourages one person, praise God.

I believe it all began last summer. A life-changing trip to Africa. (you can read about it HERE )Serving others, sharing the Gospel, and being apart of advancing the Kingdom. One week after I returned we left for summer camp, where God moved in some powerful ways and I saw students come to know Jesus Christ as their Savior for the first time. I had the opportunity to baptize some of them and built some very special relationships. I was on a God "high" Life was perfect. God was moving, I was seeing God move in powerful ways, and I was connected to God in a new way. My eyes and heart were glazed over, all because of how mighty God was working in people's lives.
Summer quickly ended, I quit my job at Starbucks, began my photography business, and jumped right into the chaotic youth church schedule :) Church...church...meetings, youth, etc. On top of being a youth leader on Wed. nights I was discipling 5 girls one-on-one. Life was grand. I was living the dream...doing what I loved and investing in young girls lives.
Then I believe the enemy had his eye on me and I wasn't prepared. Not one bit. A big target was on my back and I didn't know it. And so I continued moving through life at a pretty insane schedule. And then slowly things started to unravel. And looking at them individually, they aren't horrible but they began weighing me down bit by bit.
I did not study the enemy or his tactics, thus my painful journey.

1 Peter 5: 8Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
Jame 4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

It would take me hours to document all the ways Satan got me....but he did.
There is the reality. I fell prey to the enemy.
I will share just one part that I was so challenged on in my life. I allowed Satan (the Father of Lies) to tell my many lies, and I believed them. I traded in truth for lies...many, many lies. It breaks my heart to write this, but my faith was challenged. For the first time in my life. Yes. The first. And because I've never walked in this, it scared me. Scared me so badly, that it crippled me. And I became ineffective. Ineffective for the kingdom.
Yes, Satan tried, but I am not down for the count.
God is bringing my back, slowly but surely.

Sometimes I sit back and think how dumb am I? I've read it a hundred times in scripture.
Satan doesn't like effective believers.
Hello, Katie Campbell? :) What happened?
Friends, it started with one thing. And I didn't ....." take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. " 2 Cor. 10:5
I urge you, from a healing soul to another--study the tactics of your enemy, know scripture--I mean bury it in your soul, and slow down to do this. I let a non-stop schedule get the best of me, took for granted scripture, and didn't look at the warnings of the enemy. Ephesians 6:12 ^"12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

When I awake in the morning I have one thought...we are in war...I urge you to wake up and see the battle.
I love you brothers and sisters in Christ.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

¹⁶Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

2 Timothy 4:6-8 (New International Version)

⁶For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. ⁷I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. ⁸Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.

A sermon that I love on this is Mark Driscoll.....check it out here.
http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/luke/jesus-casts-out-demons

Who are you

I am in constant restlessness. My heart has been challenged. And when I become convicted/passionate for what God is doing there is no stopping me. I go for it. And this is where I have landed.
The desperate need for encouragement.
Several months back I was so overwhelmed with the darkness. The evil. The mean words people speak. The negativity. The hurt and backstabbing.
Let's face it this world is harsh to live in at times.
My life is no exempt. Words people speak pierce my soul and crush me. There is no way around it.
Words are powerful.

So why are we so quick to speak negativity and slow to speak encouragement? When all of us are in desperate need of loving words?

I believe a lot of us think in our heads encouraging things to say to people, yet we end up never conveying that to people.
We are either discouraging or encouraging people on a day to day basis.
There is no middle ground.
You either do or your don't.

Look at this definition
To encourage

a : to inspire with courage, spirit, or hope

b : to attempt to persuade : urge
2 : to spur on

To Discourage

1.to deprive of courage, hope, or confidence; dishearten; dispirit.

2.to dissuade

The first part of discourage says to deprive, which means to remove or withhold something from the enjoyment.

In our words and actions we are either encouraging and spurring someone on OR we are discouraging them by withholding our words.

This is why I believe God speaks so clearly about living lives of encouragement. In

Hebrews 10:24-25 (New Living Translation)

²⁴ Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. ²⁵ And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.

1 Thessalonians 5:10-12 (New Living Translation)

¹⁰ Christ died for us so that, whether we are dead or alive when he returns, we can live with him forever. ¹¹ So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.

whether in words or action I want to be known as an encourager. To inspire others to go for their dreams. To build others up in the amazing talents God has given them. To listen to others and spur them on in their challenges they face. To fill their hearts with hope and truth.

I want to let my conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt (col 4:6)

I still have along ways to go but it's a process. We're all on a journey. One day, one moment, one conversation at a time.

My challenge is how can you be an encourager today?

Write a note, a FB message, a tweet.

Do something!

It's time to stop being shy and withholding encouragement. We need it. All of us.

Let's be bold!

Let's love others. Be full of encouragement. Spur one another on.

Until we meet in Heaven...

Shouting from the mountain tops!

I feel inspired to write a short blog today. I've been absent the past couple months and possibly because life has been a whirlwind and consisted of the usual youth pastor lifestyle....non-stop retreats, company, events, and trips! :)
But today I wanted to reflect.
I was at the gym today and I was meditating on God's goodness. And then it became a huge adrenaline rush! ( I am thinking this is my new secret to running :)
I was reflecting on one of the most impactful and inspiring weeks in youth ministry.
A week where I look back and think you can't deny the work and presence of Jesus Christ.
He who redeems, heals, restores, comforts.
And I can't help but worship and praise Him for what He has and IS doing!
Truly, this week has been a "high"..."I'm on mountain-top" kinda week.
But I don't think I'm just praising Jesus for what he has done this week.
In my meditation and prayer at the gym, praise flooded my soul.
I am praising God for taking me on a journey
Just back in February I felt life was difficult road and full of heavy emotions. We were told my Dad probably had cancer, my dog had to be put down, and life was just plain crazy.
And a few months later...
My Dad is healthy and healed, my soul is at peace, and God is moving in lives that are undeniably the work of the Holy Spirit.
I am praising Jesus not for last week, but also for the joy and comfort in the dark times.
Which truly leads to a sweeter, richer joy in these high moments of life!
Today I just wanted to climb to the highest mountain in Portland and shout, "Praise God!!"
I wanted to share with the world that Jesus is ALIVE and working!
I SEE IT!
It isn't an old Bible story, a myth, or legend.
It's true.
You cannot deny stories of redemption and restoration.
I'm telling you, to sit and listen to a precious high school student share their story of how only Jesus Christ has freed them from an eating disorder with another student, moves your soul.
It has moved my soul to rejoicing, praising, and worshiping!
And so I guess this is my "shout-out" :)
I'm in awe of Jesus. I love Him.
My life is nothing without Him.
And today my soul is filled with praise and adoration for what he has and is doing.
Thank you Jesus,
All the glory to you...
I'm nothing without you.

I wanted to share some lyrics that sum up my heart right now :)
Hillsong United
You hold me now
VERSE 1:
On that day when I see
All that You have for me
When I see You face to face
There surrounded by Your grace
All my fears swept away
In the light of Your embrace
Where Your love is all I need
And forever I am free

PRE CHORUS 1:
Where the streets are made of gold
In Your presence healed and whole
Let the songs of heaven
Rise to You alone

CHORUS:
No weeping no hurt or pain
No suffering You hold me now
You hold me now
No darkness no sick or lame
No hiding You hold me now
You hold me now

VERSE 2:
In this life I will stand
Through my joy and my pain
Knowing there's a greater day
There's a hope that never fails
Where Your Name is lifted high
And forever praises rise
For the glory of Your Name
I'm believing for the day

PRE CHORUS 2:
Where the wars and violence cease
All creation lives in peace
Let the songs of heaven
Rise to You alone

BRIDGE:
For eternity
All my heart will give
All the glory to Your Name