Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Your Moment



Here I am starring at my calendar and seeing my summer slowly fade away. A new season of life is upon me. Entering into June I knew it would be a summer of life changing experiences but I clearly underestimated that prediction!
My journey began long before I left for Africa as I knew God was preparing my heart for greater things. Being apart of Uganda was a moment in time that I will never forget. Going to Africa with the man I love and adore, high school students, my camera, and serving Jesus--Oh there is nothing greater!!! I felt as if I was home-at peace with life. I saw and experienced challenging things but the joy of the Lord was greater than these circumstances. I had times with the Lord that I can never articulate because they were so intimate and real. They were glimpses of heaven that I'll keep with me until the day I truly return home.

I must share one story that challenged me forever. We were up in Northern Uganda in Gulu working with a local church and going into the IDP camps. One afternoon we were in a camp walking around to all the huts praying with people and giving out food.
As we got further out into the camp it became very dark and as you know there is NO electricity. So here we are trying to find our way back in pitch black. The African leader with us had moments before explained how the Lords Resistance Army has invaded this camp twice before and killed many people. I quickly became overwhelmed. I couldn't deal with all the fear and darkness that I could barely breath. I grasped Branden's hand tight and leaned over and quietly whispered to him that I was having a panic attack. Trying to be respectful and strong on the outside the only thing I could do was pray. So I began to have a conversation with God that I will NEVER forget. My mind was racing and I couldn't even think rationally. But in that moment God exposed my heart, I didn't trust Him with my life. My entire life I have said I fully trust God. But I saw that wasn't true. I saw they were just words. The reality is I live in America. I live a fairly safe life. I don't really have to put my full trust in Him if I don't want to. I don't know what its like to fear my life being taken at any given time. The reality that I was standing in the middle of a dark village with no protection was sobering and overwhelming. My only hope was to put my trust in Jesus Christ. My heart was tested and I failed. I didn't truly trust and believe God was my one and only protection and hope. It scared me. It scared me that I have always promised God I would stand with him at all times. My true heart was exposed--I wasn't who I thought I was. This experience changed a lot in my life. What will it take for me to walk in a complete and utter dependence on Jesus?
~Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord. Let us lift up our hearts and our hands to God & Heaven...~Lamentations 3:15
As Africa came and went quickly, I then moved on to Summer Camp! Camp was amazing this year as I met and counseled many high school girls! I had the great privilege of baptizing a couple girls as they made a decision to live for Christ! I can tell you that was a moment that has left an impression on my life forever.

So through all that I have done and experienced this summer, I feel God leading me into a new journey. I am turning a new page of life. There are many unclear paths to me but that doesn't matter. I am called to live in obedience. I am stepping out in faith looking straight ahead at the cross. Greater things lie ahead. For me and for you. I believe it with all my heart.
~Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 3:13,14

2 comments:

  1. So wonderful to hear all that God has done in your life this summer. What an adventure it has been as well. Your love for ministry and the Lord are an encouragement to me as Jason and I step into leading our church college ministry this year.

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